sibyl teo i use pantene shampoo I LIKE PINK, am very mellow. I can't drink gassy drinks anymore. I like cats.

Credits I want to delete sia Layout: hasta mañana Inspiration: balloon.s Fonts: toomunch Icons: defying affection Lyrics: Funny Little World Others: colour codes

what happened has happened & is here December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 July 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 April 2012

Well for one, today I learn that tetris came from Russia. Quite amazed. Its exactly how she predicted it to be. That at the end of the whole journey you'll be on the sides of the Russians. So proud of them. Even though I secretly want to be a hippie in the US collecting junk and selling them to the guys on that show.


Dave and I are good. If anything, BMT has somewhat strengthened the relationship because I suddenly realise he can't be around me for so long and I have to start entertaining myself and not stay at home and wait for activities to fall from the sky. Also, I have finally brought Dave home to meet the parents (woah). So now on Saturdays when the family goes out grocery shopping and eating out kinda thing, Dave is like another son/my brother. Quite fun. Specially because I don't ever need to push the trolley or carry the heavy tin cans up the lift and shit.


In terms of studies and stuff everything is okay.


But my family has somewhat broken apart again. Stacy has a new boyfriend. Stella has decided never to talk to me again because when she scolds me I apparently do the most irritating thing. Which is to shut up and not say anything. Its self defence okay. I have learnt over the years that keeping quiet and not saying anything cannot land you in anymore trouble/problems. Swallow it up.


So thats my fault I guess. That I am not apologising too.


Double doses of that too.


Like a beautiful butterfly fluttering around as if there was nothing wrong. On the inside I am a trainwreck. Rails pulled out and bent and all. Its always gotta be this bittersweet because life is never fair. Never a bed of roses. Never your oyster.


So with my iPod docked in my radio with Lies playing on repeat, I remind myself that we should just pretend and that its never going to be perfect and there is a need to weep over things once in a while.


I sound super ungrateful and bitter and shit. But there's always 2 sides to a coin (cliche shit). I am freaking grateful. And I do show it. And I'm not always bitter. I always act like I am but I am a very happy person. You know its just that sometimes when the winds' a bit too hard and it blows and you lose your balance and fall and scrape your knee from that bad fall.


I'm on the road to recovery so let me be.


Let it be. Let them be.

did i also mention that cny without an ahmah is not cny anymore. ahmah i wish you were here.

Life has been as sucky as shit and I think this is going to continue for a bit. With my constant lack of energy and everything just going in a different direction, I'm in crumbles. Listening to my LoZ soundtrack. Time is running out and soon I will be the lonely girl I was and probably, actually, will always be. I sometimes find it such a pleasure that I do not need to please anyone else. It is rather tiring. Recently in fact, I've been trying my best to not slip as a sister. But of course and as usual, I get the scolded from an overly concerned sister. Sometimes I cant decide whether they're concerned about me or themselves though. Sometimes I feel like I put in so much of an effort and it bounces back on me time and again that all I want to do is cry. All I ever knew how to do anyway. Sometimes I wish I had a friend who knew me better than myself. I don't think that will ever happen. I'm as lonely as lonely can get. And its going downhill.

Well, I've been/am going through all my old photos which I saved into CDs (due to lack of space on the computer). Boy oh boy have I grown. Its pretty sad to say the least to watch myself slowly evolve into someone who used to hang out so much with one person and then swing to someone else, if not no one else. Something in me tells me not to be so mean and blame the people who've left over the past few years because its not entirely their fault anyway. What a sad day.

Sometimes we do things we can't explain. Sometimes we have a reason. Other times you don't even know you did those things.



BECAUSE I WILL FOREVER BE THE DUMBEST GIRL. THE DUMBEST MOST SELFISH AND HARDEST PERSON TO LOOK AFTER. I AM ONLY GOOD WHEN IM YOUNG AND I AM LIKE A BANE TO YOUR EXISTENCE AND MY BAD ALWAYS WEIGHS OUT MY GOOD. AND IT'S GOONG TO BE LIKE THIS FOREVER.



GRRRR, HOW CAN NORITAKA TATEHANA NOT SUE HIM????!!!!!